


The brown box in the closet

by Yuppu



Series: The brown box [1]
Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life, somewhat angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuppu/pseuds/Yuppu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunnar goes searching for his birthday present and he finds something else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The brown box in the closet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jesuisherve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisherve/gifts).



> This is set way in the past. Like in the '80. Gunnar and Barney have been having a relationship for quite a bit and they have a dog named Butkus. That's all the information you need, I think. Enjoy.

Gunnar rarely ever woke up first, but on those occasions, he loved it.  
He liked to watch Barney sleep and how his hair was a complete mess.  
He liked the tired and confused look on his face when Barney stumbled into the kitchen in search of a cup of coffee.  
On that particular morning, though, Gunnar took a chance to wake up first just to ransack the wardrobe until he found his birthday present.  
It was November 6th and the bed would soon cool down without him in it, waking up Barney to look for him. Gunnar half-snorted a smile at the thought and he almost failed to see the box he knocked over.  
He caught it mid-air and glanced at the bed, just checking on Barney. He looked sound asleep and Gunnar heaved a sigh.  
Curious as he was, he opened the box, just to be sure that it was not actually the gift he was looking for. It wasn’t. The box was chock full of pictures.  
Old pictures, mostly from before he had even set foot in America.  
There was Barney with a highly questionable haircut and there was Tool hitting on girls none of them ever saw again. There were pictures of Trench and pictures of the old plane and there were pictures that hit Gunnar like a slap in the face.  
There were Barney and some other guy, someone Gunnar had never seen and that somehow was not in Barney’s life anymore.  
This, however, did nothing to change the look he and Barney shared in those pictures, nor did it make the two of them stand any further from each other. It didn’t change Barney’s embarrassed smile, the same smile he saw and loved on his face when Barney introduced him to Tool as his boyfriend.  
The sudden realization sent Gunnar’s head spinning and the Swede had to sit down to regain any stability at all.  
It wasn’t like Gunnar had ever thought he was Barney’s first, he never even had the presumption to think Barney never had a relationship before they got together, but it was different.  
Thinking of a hypothetical past relationship in Barney’s life was a thing, but seeing hard proof of it in his hands was too much. The tangible proof that Barney had loved and let go was right in front of him and it made him sick to his stomach and it closed a knot mid-way down his throat.  
Barney had never mentioned anyone else before. Gunnar was never under the impression that someone out there still held a place in Barney’s heart or mind.  
"Gunnar?"  
Barney’s voice took the Swede by surprise and he closed up the box, stuffing it back into the closet, just as Barney squinted at him. “You lookin’ for your gift again?”  
Gunnar paced nervously the room and got dressed so fast that he almost fell flat on his face.  
Barney sat up straight, shaken awake by Gunnar’s behavior. “Gun, are you alright?”  
“Yeah, I’m just taking Butkus for a walk.” Shrugged Gunnar, afraid to even look at him. He stormed out the room to call the dog and get him to get up and out as soon as possible.  
Barney glanced at the closet, wondering what could have possibly upset Gunnar that much.

Gunnar kept walking without even knowing where he was going. He kept his hands in his pockets, kept his head down and kept thinking about those pictures.  
He didn’t even care that Barney had those pictures, to be honest.  
But Barney had had an important relationship, at least one important enough that he had decided to keep those photos, one important enough that he looked at another person the way he looked at him. And then, one day, all of that was over and never to be mentioned again.  
That was the thing that terrified him the most.  
Barney had been capable of getting over that and started loving him.  
Maybe someday he would have gotten over him and moved on to another person.  
That thought froze Gunnar altogether and he had to stop and threw up behind some trash cans.  
He walked over to a bench and just plopped himself on it. Butkus put his head on his knee, whining softly. He did not understand why Gunnar seemed so sad, but he sympathized anyway.  
Gunnar sighed and petted the pup, trying to figure out what he could have done if that ever happened.  
He had nothing. He lived in Barney’s house. His friends were Barney’s friends. Whatever little life he had before him, he had left behind to be with him.  
If he didn’t have Barney, he had nothing.  
Gunnar took a deep sigh and rubbed his eyed to stop himself from downright weeping like a lost child. He had already shamed himself enough when he threw up on the sidewalk. He was just lucky that nobody was around that early in the morning.

He got home an hour later and Barney hurried to meet him halfway, visibly worried. “Gunnar…”  
“We got lost!” Gunnar shrugged, before handing Barney a box of donuts. “But we found breakfast on our way home.”  
“You had me worried there, you stormed out like that…” Mumbled Barney, before leaning in for a kiss. He grimaced, tasting his lips. “What did you drink? Tar?”  
“Just a lousy coffee, I’ll never go there again.” He half-grinned, failing to mention how much of that lousy coffee he had had just to mask the taste of vomit that still lingered on his tongue.

Gunnar never mentioned those pictures. His fear of ending up in the box at the bottom of the closet motivated him to try and never let go of Barney.  
After all, how would he forget about him if he never left?


End file.
